Moon over Yusufiyah and Ghana

This post comes to us from long time friend of this blog, Mr. Robert Stokely. If you don't know Robert, then your life has an emmense hole in it that needs filled.

Robert is the father of Sgt Mike Stokely whom this blog has written about many times. Robert is with out a doubt the best father I've ever met, and I only hope that at some point in my life as I continue to grow I can be as wonderful a person as his children have become.

You all know how proud I am of my children, and today I want to show that pride about Abbey. I have talked before of the hardships she has weathered since Mike's death and her own near death injuries from a car wreck and then Lyme Disease followed by the sudden death of her 17 year old best friend and first boyfriend. She has weathered much to say the least. She just had a great break-out year nailing her first year of college in Honors courses for pre-med at the University of Georgia, scoring all A's except one 89 in Honors Chemistry where the highest grade was a 92 - the first B she ever made in her life. She came back second semester with 4.0 including Advanced Chemistry where she only needed a 68 on the Final to get an A. Now, at age 19, after her first rigorous year of college, rather than idling away the summer with fun, sun, and shopping, carefree and catered to, she spent a good deal of her own money and we pitched in to send her on a a "study abroad" trip to Ghana Africa where she is not studying, but working for free doing medical and nutrition service work for the kids and others in that country. While they did get in some fun time and sight seeing, the bulk of the trip has been traveling around in a 12 person van with 15 people crammed in that are on the team, with a ride to an from their assignements being two hours each way each day with an 8 or so hour shift in between, and 13 hour van rides other days.

Today, Abbey posted a blog referencing that her mom, who is an Post Partum OB nurse at a Northside Hospital, which delivers about 17,000 - 20,000 babies a year, calling it a "Spa". If you have time and can, read her blog today and then it will make you think. And she has other posts not quiet so heavy, some even very funny. From around these parts we have a saying "Tough as a Lighter Knot." A lighter knot is that part of certain pine trees that is hard as a rock, will eat a saw blade up and will not decay. It is also extremely rich flamable material, such that in days gone past it was a prime ingredient in gun powder, and the gathering of "fat lighter" stumps from cut down pine trees of that variety was big business. It has a rich pungent smell that is akin to Pine Sol disinfectant on steriods. No doubt, I am a very blessed dad for a son stood up for America and Iraq and endured hardship and rigors with a smile until the moment of his death; another son too son Wes thrust into manhood by his brother's death yet he manned up without a whimper; and now Abbey. And the Mike Stokely Foundation is there with her, having sent medical and school supplies for them to use and hand-out. Obviously, our small Foundation can not even scratch the need that is there, but maybe in the life of a few children, for a short period of time, a difference was made and it will be a bridge to a better day and way of life for them.

http://dearabbeyblog.blogspot.com/

Lighter knots are marshmallows compared to Abbey.

Robert Stokely
proud dad Mike, Wes and Abbey Stokely
Remembering with Honor SGT Mike Stokely
KIA 16 AUG 05 near Yusufiyah Iraq
USA E 108 CAV 48th BCT GAARNG

My hat is off to you Robert, you're the father I and everyone I know wants to be. What a role model.

Abbey Stokely's Tribute to Her Brother, SGT Mike Stokely

[Ed Note: Update - Video added.]

As we come upon the eve of the 2nd year of Rememberance of the death of my beloved son, SGT Mike Stokely, KIA 16 AUG 05 near Yusufiyah Iraq, I wanted to do something to remember this event with my friends in the blogosphere. I am a little tapped out on words as I am so busy coordinating the last minute push to have a successful car and motorcycle "Ride to Remember..." in his honor on August 25, 2007. I am driven to have a successful event, not just to honor Mike and raise money for a scholarship in his name at his college, but to set the stage to do this in coming years and use the proceeds to honor each and everyone of the other 25 fallen GA National Guard Soldiers from Georgia's 48th Brigade Combat Team GAARNG with a scholarship in their name and memory.

At the road dedication ceremony last October 6, Abbey produced a video on the lap top at home as a tribute to Mike. The song "American Soldier" by Toby Keith is set to photos Abbey selected as a tribute to her beloved brother and fallen hero, SGT Mike Stokely. Toby Keith most likely will never know who Abbey Stokely or Mike Stokely are, or just how much this song means to a younger sister who lost her American Soldier, Hero and Brother in war. He certainly couldn't envision how many times I have replayed Abbey's video tribute and cry each time, for the words and his melody are so "Mike" to me. To say the least, American Soldier is a fitting song chosen by Abbey to sum up Mike's life as a soldier with but one exception - he never got to have children with his high school sweetheart (Niki) who he married just ten days before he went to Iraq. Mike Stokely was a great husband, and would have been a great Dad. Obviously, he was a great brother. As a dad, I can say he was a great son as well as a most dear friend.

I would hope Toby Keith wouldn't mind this use of his song. I wish that one day I might have the brief chance to thank him in person and tell him the real "value" of his song and what it means to me and our family. But, for now, I'll just say thank you Toby Keith in cyberspace.

Now, I'll turn it over to 15 year old Abbey Stokely and invite you to take four minutes and go to the YOUTUBE link below, and see an up close and personal view of what the cost of freedom is to our family - A Lifetime of Love.



It is no wonder we remember with honor and and on August 25 we will "Ride to Remember..." Mike Stokely, http://www.mikestokely.com/ .

When asked what I would say to those who built the bomb that killed Mike, my answer is "They would have better served their cause by leaving him alive to have come home to a family who would have gone on to live ordinary annonymous lives. Instead, by their acts which caused Mike's death, an enemy has brought our family and entire generation of friends alive for the cause of freedom, without bitteness, anger, or bent for revenge, as we Remember with Honor what Mike Stokely gave. We have not wavered, we shall not retreat, nor shall we forget."

Robert Stokely
proud to be the dad of Wes and Abbey Stokely and
proudly remembering my beloved son, SGT Mike Stokely
KIA 16 AUG 05 near Yusufiyah
USA E Troop 108 CAV 48th BCT GAARNG

Trackbacked by: A great tribute to a brother lost from Stix Blog

Robert Stokely - A Day to Celebrate, and Remember

She was born just after midnight, June 7, 1992 - the daughter to go with two older brothers. She adored them both and when a toddler would strain pull away after a bath while being toweled off, not because she didn't like it, but so she could bolt to her brothers room and commence putting on pair over pair of their underwear, giggling all the while.

She was four years younger than one brother, ten younger than the oldest. She followed them every footstep, and looked adoringly at them, as they did her. Protective of her would be an understatement, especially the oldest brother. She sat in the car seat one Saturday as her oldest brother labored under the strained tutoring of their dad on how to drive a stick shift on a serene State Highway near their home. Oldest brother wasn't doing so well, and the jerking of the car seemed kind of funny, and watching Dad fail at being his instructor was even funnier.

A family tradition to send out a Christmas picture of the three to every family and close friend, and well received to the point that if someone got left out, they would call wondering where their picture was. Thirteen Christmas pictures in all, the last a full family photo as her oldest brother was about to leave for deployment training to go to Iraq a few months later.

As she stopped being less of a "little girl" and started looking more like a pre-teen headed to being a pretty young lady, the oldest brother told his sister he was going to chase away her first boyfried and that she couldn't date until she was 25. He told her he would teach her how to drive, including a stick shift, so she wouldn't have to get stuck with learning from dad. They went out for ice cream, movies, and he looked lovingly at his sister, even talking out loud about one day being an uncle to her children and that he would be the best ever.

She was just 12 at the departure ceremony the day before he was to go to Iraq and he was even more protective. "Don't take her near the south end of the field - Warrior's Walk he said, for that is where the trees and markers are planted for the soldiers of Ft. Stewart who have died in Iraq and Afghanistan." But his dad replied "she needs to see it and understand it son, for we may one day see a tree planted here for you." Four months and a day later, the sister again visted Warriors Walk, as an honored guest with her dad, mom and 20 year old sister-in-law of four plus months, to honor the oldest brother, now dead just a month from a roadside bomb in Iraq.

A few weeks ago, just as her ninth grade year ended, she and a fellow ninth grade boy decided they would be "better" friends and started talking on the phone. The oldest brother would have probably threatened to chase him away, but then relented since he is a good clean cut, christian young man with manners rarely found in a teenager this day and time.

She got her learner's permit today - age 15. He would be so proud and he would have been a great driving instructor. That serene state highway where she laughed at her brother jerking the car as he failed to master the clutch and gas, is still serene and called the SGT Mike Stokely Memorial Highway. When asked by her dad if she wanted to take her first drive on that road, she politely declined as she had a far away longing look in her eye. In due time, she will drive that highway.

He will still be a great uncle, he just will not be there when her kids are born. But his memory, pictures and many funny stories will and they will certainly know Uncle Mike. But oh, how nice it would have been to hear them say "hey Uncle Mike, watch me..."

The cost of freedom is free for many who have nothing at risk, but for this young lady, on her 15th birthday, it is remembered that the cost of freedom for her is a lifetime of love for an oldest brother who willingly gave himself to the country he loved JUST BECAUSE... And, he willingly went so he could protect her here by fighting them there.

Robert Stokely
proud dad Abbey Stokely
and Remembering SGT Mike Stokely
KIA 16 Aug 05 near Yusufiyah in the Triangle of Death south of Baghdad
US Army E Troop 108 CAV 48 BCT GAARNG

A Soldier and His Sister - Robert Stokely

He was named Bubba at an early age by his younger brother who couldn't say "brother". When she first talked, she shortened it even more to Bubs. He was 23 and she was soon to be 13 as she watched her oldest brother march to war.

Three months later, she sat front row in the Georgia State Capitol Rotunda as local and national media snapped her picture during the Governor's Prayer Vigil for the State's recent heavy losses of its National Guard soldiers. Her brother, a Georgia National Guard member, had just been killed two days earlier by a road side bomb. Then, less than a week later, with media again looking on, she sat on the stage of her county's new Performing Arts Center as her brother was honored in a Memorial Service attended by 900 even before his body returned home from Iraq.

A few days later, as her brother's flag draped casket arrived home, she rode in the family SUV, at times standing through the sun roof waving an American Flag as thousands lined the highway to welcome her brother home. As if that wasn't enough, the next day she stood tall and poised as she greeted nearly a thousand guests at the funeral home visitation. Her brother was the first family member she would bury as she wept bitterly as a 21 gun salute volleyed, the mournful sound of TAPS played, and the Honor Guard folded the flag that had draped his casket.

Her life was now changed forever, for the brother who was to teach her how to drive, chase away her first boyfriend, be there to cheer at her graduation, and be an uncle to her children had given his life for the country and family he loved so very much. Being a teenage girl emerging to a young lady is hard on a good day. But with such, she had to do all this while being thrust into a public spotlight.

Then, just four months after her brother's death, tragedy struck as she almost lost her own life and in that same instant thought her dad had died as well when a car ran a stop sign, T-boned them in her door, sheering it off and they rolled and flipped end over end. Momentarily unconscious, she awoke and screamed out "Dad, are you all right" as severe pain racked her body. EMTs quickly strapped her to a back board and rushed her to a trauma center with head, neck and back injuries. Even at that, she called out continually "dad, are you o.k., is that really my dad up there - is he o.k." Fortunately, the hospital stay was brief for the concussion that she suffered but it took a year for her to make it back 95% from the neck and back injuries.

Her activities were limited - she had danced competitively since she was three, and now that was gone due to her injuries. She couldn't do the simple physical task of even carrying her own book bag and had to sit in awkward positions and in constant pain, yet she never let her academics slip. On weekends she remained at home for what fun is it to sit in the corner racked with pain and unable to do the slightest physical stress that goes with the typical fun activities at her teenage girlfriends' parties.

As if this were not enough, her life was to change again, for the beloved pit bull, Patches, one of her fallen brother's two dogs, died. She had adopted Patches even as Mike was leaving for Iraq and promised him to faithfully care for her. But, her best care, even that of the Vet, was no match for the cancer that took Patches. She had come to love Patches so, and the love was mutual, as Patches slept in her room and ever watching this sister's every move. When Patches died, this sister's words of good bye were simple, "she wasn't just my brother's dog, she was my best friend and I loved her."

All this in a span of nine months.

Then High School began as she entered the ninth grade. A welcome turn in her life, a good change for this sister, now 14. Further along in her recovery, the doctor allowed her to swim. She swam in the family's small backyard pool, and a nearby larger public pool that had lanes for swimming exercise and therapy. As winter set in, she would go to a heated pool. She progressed enough that the doctor let her try out for the high school swim team, even though she labored with pain from the accident. But, even in the pain, a smile had returned to her face.

Tonight, April 23, 2007 - nearly two years after her brother marched to war, she stood on the very same stage where she had sat at his Memorial Service 88 weeks before and presented the Mike Stokely Foundation Scholarship to a deserving high school senior. This fallen soldier's sister was poised and comfortable as she spoke to a crowd of 500 plus, including close family friends Cindy and Rodney B. This was not her first time speaking in front of a crowd as she had given the family remarks at the dedication of a roadway in her brother's honor last October 6 as hundreds, including State political figures and a US Congressman, looked on.

Tonight, as then, this fallen soldier's sister spoke proudly of his service and what he stood for as she presented a scholarship to a senior who had once been an honor student until a car wreck had caused optic nerve damage that led to the student losing enough academic ground that she fell out of the running for academic scholarships. To say the least, this student is the type person this sister's fallen brother, SGT Mike Stokely, would have wanted to reach out and help go to college. So, in his honor and stead, she proudly did it for him. In the weeks to come, she will give out three more scholarships, including one at her brother's high school in Loganville Georgia.

It has been 89 weeks since SGT Mike Stokely died, and he would be ever so proud of his sister. No doubt, I am as well. But, I am left with but one question - what did I ever possibly do to deserve the blessing of three such fine children in my life? If ever you needed proof of God's kindness and unconditional love, then here you have it.

Robert Stokely
proud dad Abbey Stokely
Wesly Stokely and
SGT Mike Stokely KIA 16 Aug 05 near Yusufiyah US Army E 108 CAV 48 BDE GAARNG