Father's Day is a special as I am blessed with three very good reasons to celebrate - Mike, Wes and Abbey. As I continue this year of firsts, I will take this time to remember back to last Father's Day and the special effort a son in war, 8,000 miles away, made to remember his father and in that process, give me a life time memory to sustain me in the years to come after his death.
The only time I missed one of Mike's calls from Iraq was Saturday, June 18 at mid morning. For whatever reason, I didn't get the signal so he went to voice mail. When I listened - just a few minutes or so after he got dumped to VM. I heard his simple message and was devasted, for I was sure he was calling to wish me a Happy Father's Day. He didn't say anything about Father's Day, just kind of left me the usual "just checking on you guys / love you" message as though he were just across town and we hadn't talked in a day or so - so laid back to say the least.
When I got home a little while later, I opened the mail box, and there, from Iraq, perfectly timed, was a wonderful Father's Day card from Mike. I was so shocked, but excited that he could actually get such a card, and get it to me on time, for where he was at was somewhat spartan – at least that is how I would describe eating MREs as a staple and using a five gallon bucket for a toilet.
Oddly enough, the missed call - I didn't erase it. When I listened to it, I thought, "I'll erase it later". Then, a week or so later, I started to erase Mike’s message, but a still, quiet voice – one that speaks to your inner soul - said "keep it". This still, quiet voice was one that I had heard before – the last time in particular was on May 14 as I said goodbye to Mike – as I stopped getting in my car, I looked back and the voice said “take a good long look for it is your last”. Over the next seven weeks I'd start to erase Mike’s message, and then the voice would say to my inner soul - "don't - keep it".
On Tuesday morning, August 16, 2005 at approximately 7:00 a.m., I got another phone call – the call that is seared into my memory as deeply as recorded on a CD – “Mr. Stokely, this is Maj. Hulsey, I am here with Chaplin Diccopo and we need to speak with you urgently but your dog will not let us to the door…” I knew then what was about to be told me as I ran at a fast gait to my driveway. Oh how I wished I was wrong, but I knew I wasn’t. The small still voice that had spoken to me on May 14 and many days since was, in my belief, God’s way of helping me get prepared for the shock wave that was about to hit our family. I am glad God gave me that opportunity, for I needed it.
You know, we, along with literally hundreds of others, prayed for Mike and his safety. People ask me how I feel about God “not answering” these prayers and sparing Mike. I tell them that God did answer prayer. You see, the Saturday morning before Mike was killed on Tuesday, I woke up very agitated and frightful for Mike’s safety. As I started praying 4:30 that morning, I prayed “God please keep Mike safe, please bring him home safely….”. Then I stopped – ashamed and feeling selfish. I then realized how wrong it was for me to pray that prayer over and over and what I needed to pray. So, I began anew, as I lay there in the darkness, my wife at work. “God, if it is your Will to spare Mike and bring him home safe, please let it be done; but if it is not your Will to spare Mike’s life, then please let him be with his closest friends who love him the most and please be kind and merciful in taking him.”
At 2:20 a.m. on Tuesday August 16, 2005 (Baghdad time), SGT Mike Stokely was on a mission as a volunteer in an empty seat as three HumVees cleared a road known as the Mahmuladiyah Expressway. It is just an isolated country road south / southwest of Baghdad, but an important route that needed to be secured. It is located in the Triangle of Death. SGT Mike Stokely did his job as a CAV Scout Dismount – when his vehicle stopped, even though told to sit tight, he got out, and he watched the back of his best friend (leader on the front vehicle) and the sergeant on his vehicle walked back down the road to check out a suspicious looking site. In the moments that followed a very powerful bomb exploded. The two group leaders were ten or so feet away, one was seriously hit and wounded, the other – Mike’s best friend – was not. The wounded soldier was taken by Mike’s best friend to a safe location between the vehicles. The driver of Mike’s vehicle was hit in the foot and bleeding badly, but under control. Each soldier called out to each other – but “Stokely” didn’t answer. In the 30 seconds to one minute that had elapsed between the blast, they found Spc. Mike Stokely partially laying underneath the HumVee. He had been hit in two key areas by shrapnel where the protective gear does not cover. His injuries were so severe, that it was obvious to his best friend – who also was a real life EMT – that Mike Stokely was quickly dying. He managed few words before he died, calling out the name of his best friend then attending him. Although every effort was made to revive him and keep him alive till the MedEvacs arrived, Mike Stokely was dead within the first minute. Medical reports confirm the field reports and that Mike Stokely could not have survived his blast injuries even if the finest trauma unit had been right there by the side of the road. As Mike Stokely died, he died in the arms of his best friend, with his other close friend and bunk mate also at his side. By all accounts, he died peacefully and in the midst of soldiers and brothers who truly loved him. Spc. Mike Stokely was promoted to Sergeant posthoumously and awarded the Bronze Star and Purple Hearts.
A few days after Mike died, I picked up an old Atlanta Constitution newspaper and the front page had the story of a mother whose son had just died from his injuries from an IED in Iraq. As I read this story and the recount of the 120 plus days of agony and pain this soldier went through from blast injuries and burns from the resulting vehicle fire, and envisioned how this mother must have been in such mental agony, I thanked God for being kind and merciful in how Mike Stokely died. I thanked God for answering my prayer and being kind and merciful to Mike and letting him be with his best friends as he died.
This Father's Day I have much to celebrate and be thankful for. The difficult journey of our family’s life did not end with Mike’s death. In January, Mike’s 13 year old sister and I were in a very serious car wreck when we rolled over and then cartwheeled end over end after being struck broadside by a driver who ran a stop sign. My daughter’s door was sheered off and side airbags and seatbelts kept her inside the car and her head protected from jagged metal. She was seriously injured and taken to a trauma center, she is alive today and making great progress toward complete recovery. Even with losing her brother and this serious wreck, she maintained a straight A average and scored in the top 2% of the country in achievement tests. She was co-director of her class play / Wizard of OZ at the end of the school year. Mike’s brother graduated high school with good marks and placed second in the State of Georgia Job Skills competition in the Vocational / Technical School program plumbing division. He had to grow up faster than he should have and be a rock for his family when he should have been free to enjoy just being a senior in high school. He has various job offers and employment training opportunities as a result of his Vocational/Technical skills and work ethic. For now, he plans to continue post secondary Technical Training at a local college.
I am indeed blessed. This coming Saturday, the Stokely Family will march in a parade honoring Georgia Soldiers who served in Iraq and Afghanistan, and remember Mike. On Sunday, I will be privileged to have “Father’s Day” to celebrate with two fine children by my side. Yes, it will be somewhat bittersweet with this being the first Father’s Day since Mike’s death. But, I will always have that special card he sent from Iraq, a voice mail to listen to, and a lifetime of wonderful memories of a son who was boldly committed to God, Family, Duty, Honor and Country, and who served while others debated. It is a Father’s dream to see his children grow up and be successful. I pray often for such dream to come true. God has favored our family greatly.
Oh how God has blessed this father.
Robert Stokely
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This is a wonderful message, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. As Father's Day approaches I'll be thinking of you and your family, and I know Mike will be there with you all.
Suprisingly the voice you heard wasn't saying, "Take a long look for it will be your last." It was trying to tell you that this would be the last time you would see Mike in his physical form, from that day forward you were blessed with being able to see Mike in all his glory and in all his forms. The leaves dancing upon the tree branches, the "fingers of God" as the sun streams through the clouds, the soft call of the wind that carries his words to you from on high.
Thank you for sharing Mike with us and for letting us all realize the many forms he is taking in our lives as we carry on his mission. But most of all, thank you for all you have done, and more importantly how you did it.
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