~Heartsick~ [and...I'm back to blogging again!]

Hi, everyone. Kat in GA here again. I know, I know, it's been eons since I've blogged here - or blogged anywhere, even my own blog, for that matter, LOL. Life - knee surgery, unemployment, job searching, temp work (43 miles from home, might I add), computer crashes, and once again starting college have kept me busy to the extreme, and my blog has been gathering layers of dust, sprinkled with cobwebs and a downright scary empy echo. But, events from this week have compelled me to brush off the dust, do some spring cleaning, and hit the keyboard once again. Yep, I'm back - expect me to be around much more frequently! (I heard that groan of dismay, lol... sorry, you'll adjust, I promise you will! ;) )

On the serious side now, and the reason for my blogging return....

You may or may not know, that our Georgia National Guard guys, the 48th Brigade, have deployed to Afghanistan. They deployed in waves, starting in early spring, and I believe they are all over there now. Anyone who's read my blog or my postings on this blog longer than 2 minutes knows that all soldiers & veterans are very important to me, and our local heroes in particular have a special place in my heart.

Earlier this week, we lost three of our Heroes, in one single incident.

DoD Identifies Army Casualties

The Department of Defense announced today the death of three soldiers who were supporting Operation Enduring Freedom. They died June 4 near Kapisa, Afghanistan, of wounds suffered from an improvised explosive device and small arms fire. They were assigned to the 1st Battalion, 108th Reconnaissance, Surveillance and Target Acquisition Squadron, 48th Infantry Brigade Combat Team, Georgia Army National Guard, Calhoun, Ga.

Killed were:

Maj. Kevin M. Jenrette, 37, of Lula, Ga.,

Staff Sgt. John C. Beale, 39, of Riverdale, Ga., and

Spc. Jeffrey W. Jordan, 21, of Rome, Ga.

My heart sank when I read the DOD announcement. The sorrow hasn't abated since I first read it... indeed, it's gotten more profound. I don't know these Heroes or their families, but they are "ours" nonetheless. If the Patriot Guard Riders are invited to participate in their services, I will move heaven and earth to be there, no matter what (as long as it's on a weekend...still only temping at my job and do not have vacation days yet, so I can't miss work, unfortunately). But I'll be there for anything I can be there for.

Our family has friends in the 48th deployed to Afghanistan right now...soldiers we adopted during the 48th's first tour to the Sandbox, who, on their return, got to know our family and we theirs.. friends who grew up with Sgt. Mike Stokely, who was KIA on 16 August, 2005 and is now buried only two miles from our home. I anticipate not sleeping too much, and doing even more-than-usual praying, over the next several months, and I've already got care package stuff and letters ready to go, once I have their addresses (they just got there). Our family's adopted soldiers (whether we actully *know* them "in person" or not) really do become part of our family, and we care for them as if they were our own kin 'for real.' Thanks be to God, in nine years of adopting soldiers (yes, well before the war started), we've never, ever lost one yet. *knocking on wood* But the risk is always there -- that's the reality of war.

So, I grieve for the heroes above who were lost, and pray for the ones left to carry on, and for all our heroes deployed all over the world, wherever they may be.

For those who were lost, and for the veterans who have served, know this: We will NEVER forget. Ever.

The Media’s Actions On A Daily Basis Is Why We Have the Policy To Begin With

Robert’s post on Tuesday has been getting quite a bit of airplay at several other blogs and has generated quite a response at a few others. Andi at SpouseBuzz writes in reference to the possibility of removing the policy, and its possible effect:

I have mentally buried my husband a hundred times. I'm willing to bet you have, too. In fact, if you have and you think you're weird, you're not. Click here to find out why. In the process of mentally preparing my husband's funeral, I always pictured the moment I received his casket to be a solemn and private moment. My husband's remains and me.

And this is exactly how it should be. It is a private moment between the family and their warrior.

When Robert wrote about his Last Ride To Take His Son Home, he relates his private moment with his son and the subsequent phone call to his wife to relay:

“Our boy is home.”

And finishes his letter to us by saying:

“Then, the ride was over - my last ride taking my boy home. It was time to share him with others. My boy had come home a man's man who was a fallen warrior. He gave as much as he had to give to his GOD, Family, Duty, Honor and especially his Country. In return, he asked for nothing.”

Read that again and note that he says, “It was time to share him with others.” This is not a moment to be shared but to be guarded jealously by the family, the outside intrusion of the media and by extension the nation is and would be an unwelcome intrusion upon a private and personal moment. A moment that most of us will never have to endure.

Chuck Z notes that the media is more than confused on what is and is not actual news anymore:

[A]ny journalist who thinks that this is "news," that a deployed soldiers' family wants to be reminded of the risks involved this on the nightly news, that the family of a service member who has given his last full measure wants to see this, is sadly, sadly, mistaken.

And that is the issue: the media is sadly mistaken about this issue. In their minds, since they are locked out of the moment they somehow came to the belief that something nefarious is going on, and it is their duty to uncover it and expose it. But there is another aspect of this hatred of the policy that excludes them, and that being that they can not currently use the bodies of our fallen warriors to help push their public agenda. Even Military.com falls victim to this mindset with their poll today asking the question:

The Pentagon policy that keeps the media from documenting the return of fallen warriors . . .
Should be overturned. The nation should be able to share in the loss of these heroes while respecting the privacy of surviving family members.
Should be upheld. We should continue to avoid a media circus and respect the feelings of the families involved.

Do they honestly believe that the Ed Henry, Mike Luckovich and the rest of the media really want to join the families in mourning their fallen warrior and at the same time respect their privacy? Have the editorial board of Military.com watched any recent news story that involved the death of anyone? Respecting the privacy of the family is the last thing they are concerned with doing, just ask Caylee’s grandparents.

The death of a warrior many times becomes a media event, primarily because the warrior is well loved at home and many want to pay their respects to the fallen. They line the streets along the procession route to the final burial place and pack the churches, to pay their respects, but the arrival of a fallen warrior in Dover, or the local airport for the convenience of the family must always remain a private moment. The time to share in the mourning with the family is after they have had their time with their loved one, not before, and the farther we can keep the media and their uncontrollable adolescent hormones away the better.

My questions to the media executives who want this policy over turned is:

To what purpose do you need to view and photograph the fallen warriors even before the family is able to grasp the finality of the situation?

And in light of the fact that as an industry you are revered right there alongside the proverbial used car sales man: What are you going to do to ensure that you honor the wishes of the family?

When a family says no, are you honestly expecting us to believe that you are going to honor their wishes?

I know I was born early in the morning, but it wasn’t this morning, so to gain my trust it’s going to take an almost miraculous effort on your part to make me waver on the belief that you are only interested in the bottom line and the feelings and wishes of the fallen warrior’s family will come in a very distant 5th place.

To Secretary Gates I ask: If the officers you assign to this task of reviewing this policy come back with a recommendation to keep it in place, are you going to follow their recommendation or will you bend to the winds of politics? And more importantly: please include our current Gold Star Families in your review, Robert Stokely will be at the Pentagon next Wednesday, don’t blow him off.

We await your decision, but I implore you; don’t screw the families of our fallen warriors for political gain.