August 29, 2006

And Now For Something Completely Different

Achieving Inner Peace:

I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives.

By following simple advice I heard on the Dr. Phil show, you too can find inner peace.

Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you've started and never finished."

So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off 23 Bud Lights, a bottle of Absolute, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how freaking well I feel. Please pass this on to those you feel might be in need of inner peace.

We now return to our regular programming...

No comments: